Here it is - the undeniable
and unbearable pain, tearing
right through me sharper than knives.
It cuts without a care, ripping
my lungs in two, gasping
for breath, but it doesn't stop there - no.
Like a tidal wave this pain washes
over me, crushing and drowning.
Throw out my arms and I'll float
away on violent waves of memory;
Let this pain carry me where it will,
I've got no will left to live like this.
I can't carry on, but soon as it starts
it stops. Reached the dead end,
abruptly and completely. Now
where to? I've got to ask.
Never let but a few tears fall,
got no time nor patience
for heart-wrenching misery, drowning
in blood-red memories throbbing,
pulsing like a separate beating heart -
oh memory, how cruel you've been to me;
so violently, so suddenly you appear,
and leave just as quickly as
happiness does when she flies out the window.
This is it - the undeniable, unbearable,
misunderstood heart-ache with which I continue to live.