Saturday, 11 July 2009
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A Longish Poem, Inspired by LiquidityOfSelf.
Thanks to the above named Xangan for challenging me to write something more than four or six simple lines. I hope this is long enough for you. If not, I'll try again tomorrow.
http://myhomeiswriting.xanga.com/532537076/item/
~~~The Image of Purposefully Taken Death, Take Three~~~
Wrap this ribbon 'round my throat,
Tie it tight so I've no voice with which to gloat;
Standing 'pon my pedastal, above them all,
Their staring eyes anticipating the coming fall-
Open my arms to their unwelcoming eyes,
Whispering "I'm sorry" to deflect their cries;
Inching towards the edge, toes hanging over,
Holding onto hope, my four leaf clover-
The knot tightens and I gasp for breath,
Inhaling sharply- on my tongue I taste death;
Exhale slowly, air whistling from my lungs,
Inch a little further and know from hope I hung-
Each breath tastes bitter, each second feels forever;
Balancing on the edge of this stool like a lever,
Just a slight tip forward and I'm not breathing-
I bite my tongue like a baby teething;
Blood dribbles down my chin and drops like tears,
But my eyes are dry even as they bulge in fear-
My weight shifts forward, pulling the ribbon taut,
I struggle for balance but the battle's fought
As my feet leave their pedastal, dangling 'bove ground-
The air is gone but there's a pounding sound
Ringing inside my ears; my heart's still beating,
Even as it's death I'm finally greeting;
Hands flutter to the ribbon 'round my throat,
Eyes roll back to whites and my feet float-
Thrashing only pulls the binds tighter,
Who knew I'd be a fighter?
Nails digging into the flesh of my neck,
Reaching for release under the rope; I'm a wreck
Dangling from the ceiling like a puppet on a string-
And the tears in my eyes have begun to sting;
Running down to my painted blue lips,
My tongue takes sips of the fear beneath my fingertips
Scratching for purchase, digging for salvation-
My lungs explode as I embrace damnation.
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Comments (10)
Fantastic storytelling and imagery in this one, I'd suggest you mess with longer stuff in the future since it paid off very well in this case.
@DarklyLitWords - Thank you. I would, the only problem is I can't stay focused long enough to do this on a regular basis. I was fidgeting in my chair the entire time I was trying to write this. Especially when I don't like the way I word something and I have to come up with a better way to write it. I used to write longer pieces, but things have gotten shorter and shorter in the last few years. My attention span seems to be dwindling rather than getting longer.
Ah, I'm so glad I was able to get on and read my subscriptions today. This is truly fantastic.
@EndlessDepths - I'm surprised this has received such positive feedback...but thank you.
I really like this... as I said before, I love writers like you. The topics you choose to write about are probably my favorite to read, since it's easy for the emotion of the piece to explode into the reader. Very well done... *cough* wow. What I would give, to have writing skills like you.
@alltimelow22 - don't hold me up so high, unless of course you're a glutton for disappointment. Thank you, anyway.
@MyHomeIsWriting - I don't hold many up high, so when I do, I mean it, hun. But if you'd rather me not... I can keep it to myself. It's your site, your rules.
@alltimelow22 - Oh no, I don't want to discourage you from feeding my poor ego. xP It needs it more than you could know, though I dare say it's getting full these days and quite cocky... Struts around like it owns the damn place, but now I'm rambling. I was merely saying be prepared to be disappointed, I'm human after all.
@MyHomeIsWriting - Heh. Well, it's definitely deserving of it.
@MyHomeIsWriting - ahah, we're all human. Be prepared to see that I'm not easily disappointed.