Thursday, 20 January 2011
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Untitled 1-20-11
Tonight I tear my heart into pieces
like a child tears a piece of paper;
viciously, wildly, unhinged-
tearing, ripping, shredding
until the pieces are so small
I need a microscope to view them.
Tonight I tear my heart apart,
screaming, lamenting, howling
like the wolf howls to the moon;
that lost and lonely haunted train whistle
that cuts through a winter's night
like a nail driven into a coffin.
Tonight I tear myself apart,
screaming to fill the silence,
to fill the void that is my heart.These words are so inaccurate, so insignificant, so incapable of explaining the way I really feel. I've taken all my best cliches and thrown them into one piece all for the sake of writing something. Tonight...
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Comments (2)
I've done this: throw cliches or ideas into a piece, and only scratch surface emotion, because what's bubbling within (subconscious and gently ebbing out to the conscious mind/awareness) was so powerful that I feared it. I'm not saying that you fear how you feel. I'm just saying that I understood what you wrote in relation to experiences of my past, and because of that I've added significance and meaning to what you wrote, based on my experience. You may have meant something completely different, that last italicized part of what you wrote. While reading your poem, I felt as if you were scratching the surface, waiting for the VOILA! moment, even as I've done a thousands times myself. Still, your poem isn't bad; since having been away for so long, I can definitely notice significant improvement in structure.
I was talking to a professor the other day, a physicist. My friend told me that it doesn't matter how many years we devote study to writing, if our heart isn't in it, then it's dead. We must put our heart into what we write, otherwise it's just words. He told me this because I'm taking a Sabatical from writing for a while, in order to find myself, having forsaken the "darkness" I used to write about.
@Pen_of_Mjoollnir - I agree, if you're heart isn't in it there's no point in writing. Usually I won't if my heart isn't in it; sometimes I break that rule but not always.
I don't know if it's improvement but I've changed a little bit of how I write poetry. I took a class my sophomore year that was all about poetry and after that I hated the art for quite some time. I've only recently started testing those waters again.