Wednesday, 02 February 2011
Light Grenades (Snys)
Do you ever feel like killing yourself with old memories? Just taking a knife in hand and everytime some bad memory crosses your mind stabbing yourself in the heart each time associated memory passes through.
That's how I feel tonight. That's exactly how I feel tonight.
I deluded myself, momentarily (as I usually do), that I felt fine- that the music I chose wasn't going to bring me down, that I was content in my own hand-crafted misery.
I was bullshitting myself (as usual).
Do you ever just feel like killing yourself? No real reason but it sounds like fun. Taking a knife and ramming into your jugular and painting the walls red. Digging your fingers in then running around the room leaving streaks of your blood in your own fingerprints.
Red on yellow would look lovely in this room.
Do you ever feel? Anything at all? Something? Anything? Please? Anything but this. Anything but this constant return to bitter, biting memories- vampires with teeth that long to paint the walls red with my blood.
What are you-
I'm painting the walls red.