Sunday, 20 February 2011
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Infected
I don't like the ending of this. It says what I want it to say but it doesn't say it in the right way. Expect to see more revisions. I've found that second-guessing myself is an art.
Some ideas are more lethal than others,
Some infect the mind like leeches-
Sticking, sucking, draining the host
Until there’s nothing left but a hollow shell.
Some obsessions are more fatal than others,
Some disease the system like parasites-
Stealing, corrupting, straining the host
Until there’s nothing left but darkness.
Some thoughts are more detrimental than others,
Some devour the mind like a draped blanket-
Wholly, solely for the purpose of murder.
Some notions are unavoidable,
Like the notion that I’m better off dead.
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Comments (8)
I'm curious to see the revised ending; this one worked pretty well.
@DarklyLitWords - Glad you liked it. I dunno if I'll revise it. I thought I would last night when I wrote it but now I'm not so sure.
Butt nuggets.
@Solstice1 - Thanks.
I agreed with you all the way up until the end. Still, it's very insightful and honest, great work!
good write
@Writing_the_Tides - Thanks.
@Ghost_Whisper48 - Thanks.